Fecha de registro: 13 jun 2022


Defining a difficult child

Among the students with whom I worked, there was a pleasant and fairly even-tempered boy. Without critical problems and pronounced deviations. Suddenly, literally before our eyes, he became very aggressive at school - you won’t pass by along the corridor, you will definitely get it. They beat, pulled, insulted everyone. His parents were called to the school to talk to a family psychologist. The psychologist was late, I started talking with my mother. I asked them what was going on at home that could trigger a change in behavior.

Mom immediately began to say what a wonderful family they have, an engineer and a kindergarten teacher, no one drinks, two children, the eldest son (just my patient) is wonderful, behaves wonderfully at home, helps in everything. And then he says to me: “If he behaves badly at school, you punish him!”. I decided to ask if they are punished at home. Mom answered calmly: “He knows that we have a special stick. I beat him with this stick if he misbehaves. Now he has become big, so you have to tie him first. If this is how parents motivate children to learn, then this is very bad. The right motivation comes from the right attitude towards the child. If he fails with his studies, then use to help him. This way you will give the right foundation and the right motivation.

After some time, the boy came to school all beaten up, with a fracture. The school, of course, had to respond. And she reacted - doctors, examinations and everything else according to the standard protocol. The story has been unfolded.It turned out that the child was constantly beaten at home, in such a completely prosperous family outside.

At some point, the boy said that he dreamed of going to prison so that he would not go home. It all ended just like that. He ended up in jail

When we talk about aggression, it is important to remember that difficult teenagers are 100% family history. The child begins to act strangely very often because this is due to the needs of the family. May respond to attention deficit, may to aggression. Sometimes he does things that no one else in the family can do. This happens in families where aggression is absolutely forced out. Often it is the child who becomes the only aggressive member of the family. Everyone stays in their cute masks, everyone is fine. But the conditional Vanya or Petya turns into a scapegoat in the family.


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